Who am I?

How is it that I was able to work full time, party full time and write an Amazon Update every single Monday for years? I started writing that in January '98 and it was weekly until about 2002 and then it was monthly until about 2005. After I met Matt it became quarterly but I still found the time! Now I am a stay at home mom (at least for 2 more months) and this blog sits lonely and unappreciated most of the time. Part of it is that Matt writes too, and his style is much different than mine and we have clashed a few times on the content I prefer to write about. I have to admit it has also intimidated me sometimes when people have commented on how funny and interesting his blog entries are.

I used to feel like I knew who I was: I was a WRITER...now my only entries are usually one line updates on Facebook. I was a DANCER. Hmm...the last time I hit a dance floor was at Jade's stagette in January and prior to that was probably my wedding in Oct '06. I was a CAREER WOMAN: I still technically am, just on maternity leave, but not sure what the future holds there. I was SEXY...ROTFLMAO!!! (Mom, google that if you aren't sure what it means.) Now I only get dressed if I'm leaving the house and then it's in sweats and a ponytail to go to the gym or shopping. My hair is in some sort of growing out phase that is better left in that ponytail or under a hat, my body is so confused from being chastised into losing weight its whole life but now being on another journey of gaining a lot to grow another baby, and my wardrobe screams 'maternity and fat girl stores'.

AAAHHH!

K, just had to get that out. So who am I now?

I am a MOM...and can't believe how great it is. LOVE LOVE LOVE my baby and all that entails. It's not the hardest job in the world but it is the most important and rewarding...until he turns 14 and tells me he hates me and that I ruined his life because his friends saw me hug him when I dropped him off at school. I am also a WIFE...and this time I know how to be that and what it's supposed to feel like to have a husband who loves, respects and craves you. Matt is the best friend, the best supporter and the best person I have ever had in my life. He is my lobster. I am still a FRIEND...and the friends I have are all very special to me. I cherish those who've known me since my Superstore days like Tracey, Shelly and Naomi, those new ones I've met in the past year in my mom exercise classes and all of those in between. I hope I am a good friend. I certainly don't talk on the phone or write as much as I should or used to, but I think good friends understand and know all of us get busy or distracted when we go through new phases in our lives. Right? ;)

I don't know if men go through this kind of stuff when they become a new parent - Matt hasn't seemed to change that much - but I hope other women have felt this way too - like they aren't sure they recognize themselves sometimes. I have another few years ahead of me where my home will be in shambles, my hair in a ponytail and my children ruling every minute of my day. I hope I can come out on the other side a better person...oh and eventually burn all of my fat clothes!

Bring it on. :)