Matt and I cannot live in suburbia and drive a minivan to our kid's hockey games for the rest of our lives. We are going a little stir crazy already and we've only been here 2 yrs and our baby is only 7mths. We both NEED to know that this is only a temporary phase while we have babies and raise them until they are old enough for school. Both of us have been feeling the walls closing in on us lately and we realized this was the reason. We both miss parts of our lives before we married.
Matt misses the big adventurous trips he took with his friends when they were all single, to places like Thailand and Chile. Two of his closest friends are single again and talk of doing those kinds of trips. I wouldn't keep him from going, but he says it just wouldn't be the same, being the married one. He'd be the guy going home early and calling his wife - apparently, that's 'lame', lol. He also misses owning less than would fit in his truck. Oh, and he misses owning a truck.
I miss my jet setting, condo owning, highly paid consultant lifestyle where I worked when I wanted and where I wanted and played just as hard as I worked. I miss coming home to my clean little condo just the way I left it. I miss having the time and fortitude to be in good shape and a smaller clothing size. I miss my long hair! I miss feeling independent and fierce and going dancing every Friday night.
We BOTH completely love each other, our baby and being married. We love our dog. I love our cats. We love our house and living in Sherwood Park. We love being close to our family and some of our closest friends. We love that Matt is home every night and that I'm able to be on maternity leave from a great company.
We just DON'T love all of the trappings of this suburban life. As Matt put it recently, there is so much maintenance! If you don't constantly clean your garage, organize your storage room, clean your furnace, shovel your walks, clean your house, decorate your house, walk your dog, take out your trash, sort your recycling, build your fence, mow your lawn...(you get the picture)...then you are not a good suburbanite. Matt feels like he never has time to enjoy his life because he is always either working long hours to afford it or tackling the 'Honey Do' list to maintain it. I can see his point.
As for me, I realized last week when Carter was very sick with bronchitis and we did not leave the house that I could NOT be a stay at home mom for the long term - unless I could continue to do the exercise classes and socialize with my mom friends like I've been doing for the past 6mths or so. I NEED to get out of the house most days and see people. I also need to sweat. And to feel like I'm eating healthy. If I'm at home left to own devices for too long, those things don't happen. If I don't get those things I start to get depressed and then manic.
I LOVE being a mom and hanging out with Carter is more fun every day. I just need to know that there will be more for me someday, especially once he's in school. I plan to go back to work July 3 to Deloitte, but only until I have my next baby which I hope is also very soon. Then after that maternity leave, I don't know what I want to do. Even when I go back this time it won't be the same. I won't get the juicy assignments unless I agree to travel for long periods of time. Not willing to do that right now. So I may have to do a career adjustment for the long term unless I want to be bored every day.
Which brings me to my point - Matt and I want to really shake things up in the next couple of years, as we are prone to do. This might mean quitting our jobs to start our own business, or picking up and moving overseas. Maybe it just means moving back downtown Edmonton into a great condo so that Matt doesn't have to shovel the snow. All we know is that we are absolutely made for each other because we agree on the important things - how to manage our money, no religion, our families drive us both crazy and that suburbia is a slow death for us in the long term.
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